* If the prosecutors see who your lawyer is so high five each other.
* During the first hearing, he tries to sell you Amway.
* It tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser".
* It will select the jury, by "duck-duck-goose."
* During the probationary period you catch him playing his Game Boy.
* It calls for a hostile witness "pull my finger."
* Every few minutes he yells, "I urge Jack Daniels on the stand!" And proceeds to drink a shot.
* It is often juror No. 4 with the finger.
* It creates a big "no refund" sign on the table of defence.
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