Two Gays On Holiday

Two gays were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo.

The gorilla took one look at one of the gays, bent the bars, leapt to the ground and ravished him.

The gay was rushed to hospital and put into intensive care.

Three days later visitors were allowed to see him for the first time and his gay pal came in with chocolates and a bunch of grapes.

"Did it hurt?", asked the pal

"Did it hurt?.... Oh yes it hurt! ......It's three days now.........

...... And he never called, he never phoned, and he never even sent flowers!"

School

A new group of first graders were in class for the first time.

The teacher told them, "You are in first grade now and we do not talk 'baby talk' in my classroom. When I point to you, stand, tell me your name, and something you did this summer."

The first child stood, "My name is Jackie, I visited my Nanny."

The teacher said "That's great, but from now on we will say Grandmother. There is no 'baby talk' in the first grade."

The second child stood, "My name is Regina. I rode a choo choo this summer." The teacher replied, "That's good, but from now on we will say train. Remember, no 'baby talk' in first grade."

The third child stood, "My name is Frank and I read a book this summer." The teacher replied, "That's wonderful Frank! What book did you read?"

The little boy very proudly replied, "Winnie the Shit.

You Know You Need A New Lawyer When...

* If the prosecutors see who your lawyer is so high five each other.

* During the first hearing, he tries to sell you Amway.

* It tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser".

* It will select the jury, by "duck-duck-goose."

* During the probationary period you catch him playing his Game Boy.

* It calls for a hostile witness "pull my finger."

* Every few minutes he yells, "I urge Jack Daniels on the stand!" And proceeds to drink a shot.

* It is often juror No. 4 with the finger.

* It creates a big "no refund" sign on the table of defence.

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

Just try this. It is an orthopedic surgeon ......

This is welcomed your mind, and you will keep trying over and over again to see if your foot, but you can not.

It is inevitable in your brain!

1st WITHOUT someone watching you (they will think you are GOOFY ......) and during the session, where you at your desk and in front of the computer, lift your right foot from the floor and make clockwise circles.

2nd Now, while doing the drag Zahl'6 'in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

I told you so! And there's nothing you can do about it!

You and I both know how stupid it is, but before the day is done, you want to try it again, if you have not already done so. Send it to your buddies to frustrate them.