Retirement Humour

Question: How many days in a week?

Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday


Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?

Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.


Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?

Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.


Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?

Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.


Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?

Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.


Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?

Answer: Tied shoes.


Question: Why do retirees count pennies?

Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.


Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses
to retire?

Answer: NUTS!


Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or
garage?

Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will
want to store stuff there.


Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?

Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?

Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.


Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a
retiree?

Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.


Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but
misses the people he used to work with?

Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.